No easy answers in addiction

There are times that my job it is totally painful.  Working with heartbroken parents is probably one of the most painful.  I answered a call one day from a mother in Philadelphia.  She excitedly told me that she hadn’t heard from her daughter in two years.  Her daughter left home after being diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic.  The mother explained that she hadn’t known if her daughter was dead or alive.  She told me that when she had gotten home from work the night before she had the Crossroads Mission’s name and number on her caller ID.  Her daughter left a message but just enough to say, “Mom. It’s me.”  The mother told me that she understood that I couldn’t break confidentiality but if I could just see her daughter and tell her about what she looked like, tell her to call home again, tell her anything but try to make contact.  The woman was desperate.

 

I contacted the family shelter immediately.  I was so sad to hear that the young woman had checked out about 20 minutes prior to me calling.  She left no forwarding information for the staff.  I reluctantly told that mother that she was no longer at the shelter.  Confidentiality at that time seemed insignificant.  The mother told me that she would have to be satisfied with knowing that her daughter wasn’t dead.

 

Over these years of working at Crossroads, I’ve been to funerals and seen first hand the destruction of drugs and alcohol.  The mothers, fathers, siblings, spouses, and children of the addicted suffer greatly.  I know of one mother who begged law enforcement to arrest her son to save his life.  The officer told her she would be begging to get him out of jail after he was arrested. That officer treated the mother with distain.  I’m sure his curt treatment was the result of his experiences with desperate people looking for solutions to save their loved ones from eminent death. 

 

Family and friends are desperate for answers as they see their loved ones deteriorate physically and emotionally.  Most families have never experienced the dysfunction that is prevalent until drugs are introduced to the family through a member of the family.  Those children that used to sit in their laps, play patty cake, hit home runs at little league, bring home plaster molds of hands, and give the best hugs are now creatures that are strange.  Parents often thank God for giving them their child back after they have been sober for a while.

 

There are no easy answers when someone is addicted to drugs or alcohol.  The best answer is God.  Parents, children, and spouses who learn to rely on God have the greatest advantage—peace.  Sometimes that peace is illusive but God is never illusive.  If God failed us today, it would be the first time.  There is hope in God. 

 

Crossroads Mission’s recovery program, the New Life Program, offers a spiritual, 12-step approach to recovery.  If you know someone who needs help, please contact us at 928-783-9362.  God bless you!