I hate the very deceptive nature of alcohol.  I hate how it knows no boundaries nor does it honor any status.  I hate how young people think that it’s a “safe” play thing that is fun and certainly offers no harm.  They play with it like their toys of yesterday.  I hate that binge drinking is now the “in” thing that is popular among high school and college students.  I hate how alcohol takes lives quickly with alcohol poisoning, accidents, and especially how it kills the very soul of the people who are held in its vice of control.

I hate that we are a nation who can’t have sports events without alcohol.  Youth events must offer alcohol or parents and spectators won’t attend.  Heaven forbid if alcohol isn’t allowed!  People will sneak it into events because it is accepted and we can’t live two hours without it.  Cities offer block parties and other events that are only centered on alcohol as an enticement for good family fun. I hate how we dress it up at events and parties by dispensing it from fountains, kegs, and so innocently in gelatin shots.   I hate that we measure how much fun an event was by the amount of alcohol that was served.  I hate alcohol.

I hate how alcohol destroys families.  I hate how fathers don’t take care of their children. They don’t pay the bills and selfishly put alcohol before everything that is important. I hate how mothers must hide their alcohol use and neglect becomes evident before the root cause.  I hate how it replaces love with hate. Parents are at the end of their rope because one or both have let alcohol enter the sacred bounds of marriage.  Then they have no hope in salvaging a marriage that would remain perfectly intact unless alcohol entered the holy bounds of marriage like the adulterous mistress.  I hate how alcohol descends on a marriage like the deceitful mistress who slipped in silently, flirtatiously, and subtly.  Alcohol steals time away from the family, robs the relationship of intimacy, and leads to divorce court or funeral homes all in the name of “good times,” “I deserved this,” or “I’ve had a hard day.”  Alcohol becomes a god, a god of control, and a god of self-destruction.  I hate alcohol.

I hate that people can’t see alcohol for what it is.  I hate that even when children see their parents being destroyed by alcohol they still justify their future of drinking by saying “It wouldn’t hurt to have one or two drinks.”  I hate that even though they see what alcohol has done to their parents, they remain at risk to repeat those behaviors just because of the environment they were raised in.  I hate that it can be generational and gives no hint when it might show up generations later after laying dormant for years.  I hate how boys are raised without father figures and have no role model for their future. Little girls grow up with a hole in their heart for a daddy that was missing emotionally and physically.  I hate alcohol.

I hate how people who have made a magnificent recovery from drugs turn to alcohol because “it’s not a drug.”  They think they can drink it because it won’t affect them like their drug of choice did in the past.    They justify going to bars because they “don’t have to drink” and they need to “unwind” or that they have” no place to have fun” or perhaps the biggest lie of all, “I can have just one.”  They dabble with a drink here and there.  Then when they least expect it, they are under the influence of alcohol and their drug of choice shows up maybe by coincidence or maybe by an evil plan.  There it is.  Their addiction staring them in their face just when their guard is down; just when they thought they had it licked; just when they were sure they were having fun and things were good.  Some may be strong enough to pass up their drug of choice but alcohol takes the place of the old drug.  Either way, they are on the path of destruction and  history begins to repeat itself.  The alcohol and drug takes on personality of its own.  It has gained victory in a life that was changed but now has slipped back to the abyss of darkness, destruction, and death.  I hate alcohol.

I hate how alcohol births denial and justification.  Alcohol produces denial which out-shadows reality and honesty.  Denial left to its own devices thickens, toughens, and grows in such strength that even the strongest of the strong are no match for its power.  I hate how denial wickedly deceives people in believing that they haven’t had that much to drink and driving won’t be a problem.  It’s sad that alcohol and denial work hand-in-hand to make widows, widowers and parents  with dead children.  Even now, denial will be telling many of the readers of this essay that these words certainly don’t pertain to them.  It is written for the weak and the unsuspecting but not for them.  I hate alcohol.

The actual construction project started on January 3, 2011 with a projected

Construction is well underway!

completion date of mid-to- late fall.  The architect company, Venture Architects, and the construction company, Lococo-Pilkington Construction (LPC)  are an effective team in taking this project through to completion.  This has been one of the most exciting times in Crossroads most recent history.

The new facility will sleep 100.   There are 50 beds designated for the homeless emergency shelter and New Way Program side and fifty beds for the New Life Recovery on the other side of the building.  We are planning on allowing parents to keep their children with them during their participation in the recovery program.  We know of only one other program in the State of Arizona that has this benefit right now.  Crossroads is about family reunification and family preservation. 

The Career and Academic Center will be located in the new building too.  As always, we will be opened to the public.  Anyone who wants to earn a GED can come to the center and take the GED pre-test.  After working on increasing their skills in the 5 areas of testing, we will send them to the AWC testing site.  All of these services are free—even the GED test is free as it is funded by donors who support the education services at Crossroads.  (By the way, you don’t have to wait for the new building.  We do this right now on the main campus.  Don’t wait!)  Of course, we will continue to encourage Crossroads residents and clients to take full advantage of all adult education services offered at Crossroads.  Just this past year, the education staff reports over 11, 000 study hours by clients and folks from the community seeking to improve their education.

While many things will stay the same, when the new shelter opens, we already are anticipating many things that will change.  The Family Shelter staff members are developing plans to expand many services especially to the children.    We understand the needs of the families when they need services at Crossroads.  Many have never been in a homeless situation before and don’t really know what to expect at a shelter.  While the parents are trying to get a job, they often are depressed and have a hard time meeting the day-to-day requirements of just living and keeping their family intact.  We get them the services they need to help them return to a “normal” life as quickly as possible.  We recognize the needs of the children as well.  We don’t want them to be frightened at their new, temporary environment.  Their stay at Crossroads should be a memorable stay filled with loving and caring staff and volunteers. (Even today, many times, the children don’t want to leave when it’s time to move into their new homes.)

As you can imagine, there is excitement in the air at Crossroads!  We know that we have much work ahead of us.  Business continues as usual while the Family Shelter is built.  We are still short in the total dollars needed to complete the shelter project—about $250,000.  We are planning some fund raisers during the summer.  I’d like to remind the folks who made pledges for this project nearly 3 years ago to get those pledges in to help us get this project completed.  Best of all, we continue to operate in faith that God knows exactly what and how much we need.

If you can make a donation, no matter the size, please go to our web site for online giving or click on this link to go directly to DONATE ONLINE http://crossroadsmission.org/donate.htm.

Finally and most importantly, remember Crossroads Mission  when you pray.  We know that the “effectual, fervent pray of a righteous man (and woman) availeth much”!  James 5:16

Sometimes I forget how much being secure means to our visitors and program participants.  It’s hard for me to understand that some of the homeless feel safer in the desert than they do in a building with other folks.  Life experiences, mental health issues, and a variety of other problems have helped develop their thinking.  Many of them carry their belongings with them and those few items are exceedingly valuable to them.  By all outside appearances, I might think that their life is fairly simplified in comparison to where I live, my possessions, and especially staying in close contact to my family.

Feeling secure isn’t something that most of us give a great deal of thought too.  We establish where we feel secure and how we maintain that security.  The homeless are no different.  For many of them to come to the shelter for help, is an intense experience.  As staff and volunteers, we should do everything that we can to ensure that the shelters are safe.  Keeping drugs, alcohol, and weapons out of the shelters are paramount but establishing feelings of trust, professionalism, and especially modeling an attitude of Jesus’ heart, being a servant to all, takes precedence.  Role modeling Jesus helps establish feelings security—and peacefulness

I remember a time at Crossroads when a couple of people came to the mission to cash checks that they had collected door-to-door.  They had gotten cash from some donors and other donors had given them checks.  When they couldn’t cash the checks, they came to us, thinking that we would give them the cash after we cashed the checks.  These folks certainly weren’t the smartest of thinkers.  This was another fraudulent scheme revealed.  Of course, we reported these individuals to the authorities as the Yuma Community Food Bank reported this incident to the authorities.

As the information age advances our ability to be more mobile in our giving, we know that we must be diligent in guarding what we do.  Crossroads does not collect cash donations door-to-door.  We strive to ensure that we have many safeguards in place to make our online giving safe for us but safe for the donors as well.  Crossroads does have certain activities in front of stores where we will collect cash in one of our donation jars or which can be given to a Crossroads staff, advisory council member, or volunteer.  All of our volunteers and staff can be identified by a Crossroads Mission’s Ambassador’s badge which is unique to Crossroads.  No one taking donations for Crossroads, whether cash or in-kind, will hesitate to show their identification.

Crossroads also sends out appeal letters and often will do a large mailing throughout the county to acquire new donors.  These appeals can always be sent to our post office box number which we have had for many years.  (That address is Crossroads Mission, Post Office Box 1161, Yuma, AZ 85366-1161.)  United States Post Office crimes are a federal crime and once convicted carry long penalties of prison, financial restitution, or both with them.

Crossroads also uses our newsletter, News for Our Partners as an appeal for funds.  We use special events, success stories, information about the programs of the mission, and other information about the mission to keep our donors informed about what is happening at Crossroads.  We report the statistics for our programs in this newsletter to let the donors know how many folks are reaching out to us for help.  Donors help those people too when they give to Crossroads.  That’s how we have continued to help people in this community for over 50 years now.

If you ever have questions about anyone representing Crossroads Mission, do not hesitate to contact one of our offices to inquire.  We are here to help but we are very aware that there are folks out there who use illegal means to scam folks out of their money.

The Crossroads Mission’s Board of Directors and I believe in being transparent with the financial operations of the mission.  We are audited each year by an independent auditor and submit these audits to several agencies for accountability.  Audits can be provided upon request to our donors.

It makes me sad to hear about the scam at the food bank.  When an agency tries to do good to help the poor and needy in this economy but then must use valuable resources to protect what they do have, it is egregious.

I hope that you are a donor.  Many agencies in our community survive through the generous donations of the supporters.  If you suspect something is amiss, don’t hesitate to contact the agency where you donate.  Together we can continue to make a difference!

This incident made me think about the “what if’s” in my life.  I started wondering about the times that I haven’t been paying attention or ignored happenings, or just remain oblivious to my surroundings.  What if I just ignored her and wrote her off as another ‘drunk”?  What if I didn’t pay attention to her?  What if I was so caught up in my conversation that I didn’t care?  What if I thought that I didn’t have the time to have my day interrupted and just went on about my way?  After all, wasn’t this situation her choice?  She knew not to drink.  She knew she couldn’t go to the main shelter if she had been drinking.  Was this my problem?  What if my attitude was “it’s not my problem; why should I get involved”?  What if I felt that since she made her choices, she needed to live the consequences of those choices?  What if I turned a “blind eye”?

I have heard some folks say that the homeless and the addicted make their choices.  The question has been proposed to me as to why the elected officials of this community should use tax dollars to support the people who come to the mission for services.  These folks have made a choice.  They choose alcohol, drugs, and to be homeless.  I have even been told that it isn’t the taxpayers of this community who should help these folks.  What if everyone in this community felt like that?  What if no one cared?  What if we as a society cared nothing about human suffering or offering help?  What if we ignored Jesus’ statement of “love your neighbor as yourself”?  What if I didn’t consider the addict, alcoholic, or the homeless to be a “neighbor”?

The woman in this writing has many medical problems.  I don’t know what would have happened to her if I didn’t see her.  Others came to help me and we got her over to the 1^st Step Center where she spent the night.  Two days later I saw her at one of our events.  She looked like a million dollars!  Clean clothes, hair washed, and helping out with the new program we were just starting, her face glowed.  She was sober and she was happy for two sober days!  What if this time made the difference for her?  What if she’s on the path to sobriety and recovery from her homelessness this time?  What if?

1. Never judge a day by the weather.
2. The best things in life aren’t things.
3. Tell the truth—there’s less to remember
4. Loosen up-the unaimed arrow never misses.
5. He who dies with the most toys, still dies
6. Age is relative—when you’re over the hill, you pick up speed.
7. There are two ways to get rich—you can make more or you can require less.
8. What you look like doesn’t matter—beauty is internal.
9. No rain—no rainbows.

I don’t know who collected the messages but aren’t they just relevant to living?  I do think there’s a couple missing.   How about:

1. Remember when I think things are out of control, God’s still in control.

Or;

1. Keep little stuff little—God’s still in control.

Or:

1. When all else fails give it all to God—He’s still in control.

When I was in grade school, I was ‘labeled” a slow learner.  In high school, my counselor told me that I would have to settle on going to a technical school because I wasn’t smart enough to go to a university.  I lived with that label for years.  I still deal with that label from time-to-time in my adult life.  i was in my late 20′s before I tried going on to higher education.  I remember when I received my grades the first semester; I sent them to my mother.  I was shocked that I had better than a 3.5 GPA.  Mom wanted to send my grades to my counselor.  I went on to earn a bachelor’s degree and later earned a Master’s Degree.  I laugh now when I think about me being a “slow” learner but when it comes to remembering that God is in control—I AM a slow learner!  I want to live in the message of the t-shirt but I want to remember the most important lesson of all—God is in control!

Over the next few weeks, I waited.  The plants or sticks as I prefer to call them were totally brown by now but I waited.  I watered faithfully and waited some more.  I watch for signs of life but there was nothing to indicate that there was life in those little “sticks”.  There was nothing on those plants that showed production, growth, or even any hope that things would change.  I have to tell you that I was disappointed.  I certainly wanted that bamboo-looking plant to grow and just knew it would look good in my diversely planted yard.

I had given up on the plants and to my surprise this spring I noticed tiny little white flowers on the very end of one of the sticks I had planted.  I went to each cutting and sure enough all had a tiny little white flower at the very end.  I was ecstatic!  When I had lost all faith and thought there was no hope.  I thought I must have done something wrong during the transplanting although it was fairly simple.  I mean how hard it can be to push a tiny, thin stick into the sand?

This experience added to my marvel of God’s creative nature and the wonders of this world.  As I have gotten older, I enjoy planting, pruning, and enjoying the fruits of my efforts.  I’ve thought about those tiny little plants and how I had given up on them.  It’s marvelous how God in His infinite wisdom has made the plans for that plant!

I work with many parents and spouses who have given up hope on their loved one who is homeless or a drug addict or alcoholic. The Bible tells us that God isn’t willing that any should perish.  It’s very hard for us to understand God’s love and to accept that God loves our loved-ones more than we can comprehend.  When there’s no signs of life and there’s no productive work going on in the “sticks” of those we love—don’t give up.  Prayer is always the best course of action.  Some times we do have to exercise tough love.  We talk, we plead, and we give great reasons as to why that person should change.  They might die!  They aren’t the people that we know or love when they continue to use drugs and alcohol.  It seems so very unfair to be in this situation.  We love them and want to help them but end up enabling them to continue in their destructive behaviors.

Remember that God is at work! Faithfully praying and remembering that God is at work helps us to keep on track for what God is trying to develop in our lives:  faithfulness, patience, and hope in Him.  When we think that there’s no life there, God is still in charge.

\\

Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

As always, I wanted to ensure that we got the most from each session.  After we all found our respective rooms and met for dinner the first night, we strategically planned which sessions each of us would attend. There were specific topic tracks to attend in addition to general sessions and other activities.  We talked about the tracks we wanted to attend which was directed by each person’s job:  ministry, administration, graphics, development, shelter services, or treatment.  We made sure we covered as many of the topics as we could.

I decided to take the Strategic Leadership track which involved attending six group sessions.  I wasn’t disappointed in the quality and amount of information that I learned at each session.  The other staff members laid out  a map of the sessions that helped them cover as many topics as possible.  In the strategic leadership track, I was inspired with information on how to make a good relationship better between the board and executive director.  In other sessions, I learned about having God’s vision and seeking His direction for the staff, clients, and mission. I was reminded of God’s provision for our mission.  I felt enlightened by hearing that God loves me just as I am but doesn’t expect me to stay as I am.  I must grow spiritually in Him!  I’m on a journey of obedience, discipline, and learning.

The staff reported few disappointments in the sessions.  Even some of the sessions that may have been somewhat tedious let the staff know that we were doing things right at our own mission or helped them see opportunities to change.  Most of the sessions brought great insight to programs, donor development, services, and many other valuable topics.

We’re home now; grateful for seeing loved ones and sleeping in our own beds.  We’re loaded with ideas to help enhance the services and programs at our mission.  We’ve all benefited from our trip but most importantly, our clients will benefit when we share with the other staff members what we’ve learned.

I feel blessed for being able to attend the conference.  I feel blessed that the Executive Director and staff of AGRM are so dedicated to bring this conference to fruition.  I feel blessed that God has bestowed on me the opportunity to lead Crossroads Mission to the next level of service as we continue on our journey!

Whenever I set out to plan one of the many events that we have at the mission, I always ask God to bless it for sure, but I also want His guidance.  What does He want me to do to bring glory to the work that He has done?  This ceremony was especially important.  I have known for a long time that this facility belongs to the community. This facility is for the folks who are struggling with addiction, homelessness, domestic violence or any of the many reasons that cause a need for the emergency shelter.

I prayed for days for this event.  Groundbreaking is always significant because it indicates that the building project is at the announcement stage.  We can break ground because we’re very near to bringing in heavy equipment and turning more dirt than a shovel full!  We begin to really “break ground’.  We have struggled in the capital campaign.  We have met many difficulties along the way.  Some of these have been blessings but have been huge obstacles that took time and energy to accomplish.  I’m thinking of the 1^st Step Center that was opened in 2008.  The end result of that center is a functioning facility where addicts and alcoholics can get stabilized from the things that have them bound in behaviors that are life-threatening.  The First Step Center has had more than 500 people receive services there in the 19 months it has been open!  That’s a blessing!

We’ve been faced with economic challenges and donations have fallen off from our business donors.   Businesses have closed their doors and people have lost their jobs in great numbers.  Just recently in Yuma a huge, new recreation center closed; a call-center employing 300 people closed and these are just a couple of examples.  Funding has become harder to get as people are unsure of their money and need to hold onto it.  People won’t donate when they don’t have jobs.  The reality of this situation is an increase of needs for more services by people who’ve never needed services before.  We have people who need to stay longer because there are no jobs and they can’t get back to “normal” living without a job.  All of these reasons make the need for the new facility more pronounced than ever before.

Yes, the groundbreaking was momentous!  The culmination of the ceremony began as many dignitaries and board members were called to the shovels to turn the dirt.   Then I had one surprise for everyone in attendance. During the ceremony I had told a story of a young mother who had fallen victim to drugs and ended up loosing two of her children, her home, her job, and her self-esteem.  Her story was moving!  Once she came to Crossroads, she knew she wanted to change.  By then, she had a new baby and knew that she couldn’t keep living like she had been.  She was at the mission!  She got a job and walked miles and miles in one day to get her baby to a day care and then would walk to work.  She began going to church and began working a program of recovery.  She was determined and called on God to help her when she felt weak!  Heidi and her son, Paul, were our special guests during the shovel event.  This young mother and her son represented the past clients and the future clients of the mission.  They represented the hope that people can find at Crossroads for a life of change!  They represented the people that will make the new facility more than a building.  They represented a place of love, restoration, and wholeness!

Oscar Chavez, a local musician, closed the event with John Denver’s song Sunshine!

If I had a tale that I could tell you
I’d tell a tale sure to make you smile
If I had a wish that I could wish for you
I’d make a wish for sunshine all the while

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high
Sunshine almost all the time makes me high
Sunshine almost always

Yes! You could certainly say Momentous occasion!

I was attending a seminar just recently.  A beautiful woman in her late forties was speaking about her life. She “peppered” her speech with words that I felt were offensive.  I lost the focus of what she had accomplished, the things that she had been through, and the injustices that she had suffered because of her language. She overcame a lifetime of problems but it was all lost to me.  It was a good lesson for me.  Watch my adjectives!

I have worked in the restaurant business for many years.  I was amazed at the old folks who came in for service.  Many used swear words as freely as they breathed air.  When I worked in a nursing home, I was shocked at the elderly who were at death’s door but used swear words almost every other word they spoke.  They were often bitter, hateful people who had many few people visiting them.  I wondered if there was a direct correlation to their words, attitude, and people who were left in their lives.

When I was the principal of a charter school and the “scholars” were referred to me because of their bad language, I would often ask them if their mother taught them to talk like that.  Did their dad teach them that language?  I remember one young man’s answer when I asked him if his grandma had taught him that kind of language.  He thought for a moment and then answered, “Well, yes!”

After using those kinds of words during my rebellious twenties and my non-conforming thirties, I decided that those kinds of words make the initiator look very uneducated.   Don’t get me wrong.  I still struggle with those words.  I find that the more I’m around others who talk like that the more those words remain on the surface of my thinking.  They’ll slip out if I’m not especially careful about what I’m going to say.  I don’t want to be caught up in that language anymore.  It’s old behavior for me and it is something that I struggle to overcome.  Most importantly, I understand that the words that are coming out of my mouth are a direct reflection of what’s going on in my heart. When I’m not spending time in prayer, when I’m not fellowshipping with other believers, when I don’t meditate on the Word, I gravitate toward the world.

Word abusers, who get caught up in using four-lettered words, are limiting their vocabulary.  My mom told me that every word that we speak is bottled up and we will give an account of those words when we stand at judgment!  Ugh! I pity everyone standing in line behind me because it’s going to take a while when it’s my turn! I don’t know if that’s scriptural or not but I want to be judged on my encouraging words; words that I used to lift up people.  Seriously, the Bible tells us in Psalm 19:14 (NIV) “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.”
Most of us “practice” at using swear words when we first start that kind of language.  We think if we add that word here or put this word in there it will give us some authority, some respect, like we’re in control.  I believe that the things that we put into our minds can get bolded just like the “bold” key we use on the computer.  When we bold stamp those words on our brain they remain there.  I know!  I have to apologize for my language.  I ask God to help me before I speak.  I ask for forgiveness when I slip.  Most importantly, I know when I memorize scripture, when I increase my vocabulary by learning new words that are good words, when I practice thinking before I speak; I do a much better job at speaking.  That woman I told you about earlier could just have easily been me.  I don’t want to be remembered for my filthy mouth.  I want to be remembered for being positive, educated, and eloquent when I speak.  I want to reflect Jesus Christ through my language.  Proverbs 8:8 “All the words of my mouth are just; none of them is crooked or perverse.” And one last thing my grandmother taught me, “Keep your words soft and sweet, because you never know when you’ll have to eat them!” God bless you!